playlist.

Friday, August 12, 2016

I believe when people make a playlist, it is typically a soundtrack to their life and where they are in the present moment.

Well, at least that is true for me. 

Any time I have or ever have had a playlist in my collection it was usually a direct correlation to what was happening in my life. What I was feeling, thinking, hoping for. I always feel like lyrics do a better job than I ever could do putting to words just really and truly what I am feeling.

Enter –Sia.
This artist is my playlist.
Listening to her and her lyrics is finally giving me a lens into my own life.
I read once someone described her album This is Acting, as if you were reading a diary. 
That's why I think I am so drawn to her as an artist. 
She was able to identify where I was in my darkest places as well as my places of greatest strength. 

Her album was a diary into my own life, in a manner of speaking. 

You know how people say it’s hard to see the whole situation when you’re the one right in the middle of the issue. But everyone else around you clearly knows what’s going on and what the problem is.
Well, I feel like now, she is giving me the opportunity to be the outsider looking in on my own life. Her words are like a narrative into where I was when I was in the midst of my disorder, and they speak so loudly to where I am now.

It’s taken me such a long time to sit down and finally try to write this. But it’s really hard to explain how something makes you feel. So, I am going to try.

What I wanted and hope to do with this mini series is focus in on a few songs that speak loudly to where I am presently as well as where my past had been. I hope you all are ready for the ride and that I do this and Sia justice as I jump right in!
I’m literally sweating!
I could have something to do with the fact my car said 104 degrees as I left today. But I think that I just have way too many thoughts that I want to type and my hands just aren’t fast enough!

Track 1- Elastic Heart. 



Elastic Heart was a song constantly in my speakers during a period in my life where everything just felt chaotic and disjointed. I think that’s why I enjoyed the music under her lyrics. The pattern of the rhythm is a movement of ups and downs, and for my life at that time, it just seemed like I was constantly at war.

At war with myself.

With Jake..

My family.

My therapist.

What I like about this song is that it is intertwined with two points of view. I want to approach this with my two selves. First as myself; Alicia. Second is my disorder. 

As I blasted these words through my speakers many a trip home from my therapist’s office, the lead into the chorus always stuck out in my head.

You will not break me
I’m still fighting for peace.

The disorder really liked that first line. 
Something about it just fueled my fire. I was not to be broken. Nothing anyone said at that point was going to change my mind. This was me, it was who I was and where I chose to be. And then there was the second line- I’m still fighting for peace. Because I was! I wanted things to be better so bad. And I felt that being sent to the hospital would be me throwing in the towel. ALICIA wanted to beat this disorder. I wanted the peace. I didn’t want the hospital, or doctors or someone else to get it for me. I wanted to get it myself. And I think that was the voice I was trying to convey, but the disordered voice was so much louder and would not be broken. I just ached for things to get better.

There was so much inner chaos in my life that I don’t even know if I knew it was there. But when I heard this song, it was like she had gone through and then expressed everything that I was feeling in those moments.

And I want it and I wanted it bad
But there were so many red flags
Now another one bites the dust
And let's be clear, I trust no one

These lyrics for me, represent how I almost feel like there were times when I accepted this into my life. I knew it was wrong in the beginning. I had total consciousness of the times I deliberately did things for my eating disorder. I had plenty of red flag moments where things that should have warranted me to turn away from this life, just didn’t. I feel like those were the moments where I just didn’t know what to trust. I knew people were only looking out for me, but I couldn’t always accept that, so I continued to live into the life I knew.

Music Video-

source
I like that in this beginning. Maddie is the one that is the dominant more intimidating presence. That’s how it could feel mentally, to have two dueling “me” in my head. As I would be there anorexia could tend to have this louder voice. And I would cower to it. I was afraid that I couldn’t stand up to it, and just played into its game all along. Then as the video plays, it’s almost like he’s trying to make peace with it closer to a minute into the video. She kicks him down and continues to be this dominant entity in side the cage.

And seriously.

When I watch it, it’s like a visual of how it felt to be inside my head. Any time I had any opposition to what it wanted, it won. Striking me down. Making me scared of this food, or that snack or being with those people.

It’s exhausting.

And just when I would think that the dragon was sleeping, it woke again.

There were so many ways I tried to fight back. I like that she says I walk through fire to save my life. I wanted my life SO bad. But I just had no idea what that life was I wanted. I tried this and that and everything else to fight against the disorder. When nothing seemed to work I chose to attempt embracing the disorder.

To live in tandem with it.

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But it bit me back. That’s kind of when I feel like it awoke with full force. Sort of like the video.
This is where it began to really be an exhausting struggle.
This for me is incredibly laid out in a visual between Maddie and Shia. What I love next is when she actually leaves the cage they’re in.

Taunting him from the outside, he wants that part of his life back so bad.

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Up until she gets out, the two selves were fighting with one another. Once she leaves, Shia realizes what’s gone, that old life of mine that I wanted so badly to move out of, I wanted back so bad. It’s hard to let go. He screams in anguish for her to return. And that’s how it felt. Not being able to give that part of my past up even though it was wrong. As she’s teasing him from the outside, I experienced what that felt like as my life began to shift.

That first shift happened in the hospital. They forcibly took that part of my life out of my reach, but I knew it could come back if I wanted it to. And as wrong as it was, I wanted that back into my life.

So I let it back in.
As much as I was afraid of this disorder, I needed it.

She comes back into the scene and as with me, it seemed worse the second time around. Gently she enters and he embraces that. He carries her like a burden on his back while she’s calling all the shots. I welcomed that part of my life back in. I let it have me for so long. And even my first stages into recovery, I feel like I still continued to hold on. And if you watch to the end of the video, he hangs on for so long. She continues to pull and manipulate and toy and he’s physically just so exhausted. That’s what it’s like. Before I truly let go. I wanted to hang on so badly to both of these lives and eventually you just have to reach that point where you let go.

And it’s hard.

I love when she leaves the first time. Like a kid throwing a tantrum. Its scary and uncomfortable to let that part of you go. I screamed. I ached for it back. I love Sia for how she visually chose to portray this part of her life because it spoke so loudly to me. Especially watching it now. It’s like watching what was happening in my head over the last 3 or 4 years.

I hope you can watch this with a new perspective or maybe just a little more intrigue. Let me know your thoughts today and as I continue this mini series!


the end of my comfort zone

Monday, July 4, 2016
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I’ll do whatever it takes.

I find I say that to myself quite often when I know what I want.
This is where I want to be, “X” is what I want to do. I’ll do whatever it takes to get there.



But what happens when the “whatever” comes.

It’s knocking on your door. Telling YOU, “Hey, this is what needs to be done to get there” and all of a sudden you find yourself SUPER comfortable and happy with where your life is right now.
That goal you had in mind. That thing you once wanted. 
Ehhhhhhhh maybe it’s not so necessary, right?
Who needs it anyway?
I’m happy right where I am, because if getting where I want to go, means doing that “whatever” I’ll be just fine, right here.



This cycle of life happens SO much.
I’m kind of living it now.

Many of you who have followed me, and my blog are probably familiar with my past struggles and my story. Over the last year, my life has changed drastically from where I used to be, and how I used to live my day-to-day life.
As life has shifted and changed, so has my mentality and things I want and aspire for myself.
The tone of this blog may change from that of  “only about recovery” to the other avenues I am finding myself in. One in particular is fitness.



You’re probably asking yourself, “well what does fitness have to do with doing whatever it takes”.
Here’s where I fill you in!
A huge motivator in my recovery has been weight lifting. I LOVE lifting weights. I attribute a lot of my recovery to just gaining the knowledge of my body, understanding proper fueling and training regimens to be where I would love to be physically.
So this is where that “whatever” comes in.
I know what I want. I have goals for myself and for my body. I would love to lift X weight, look stronger, and build more muscle. And in the end, I know what that looks like. And I would love nothing more than to hop over the rainbow from one end to the other, just skipping all that middle stuff.

But that’s not life.
Life IS the middle stuff.
So in order to get to my “X” goal, I needed help with the middle.
I’ve learned so much on my own, but currently, I felt like my progress was not progressing.



I reached out, and have found incredible help! And when I got my new training program and nutritional programming in my email yesterday. I was so terrified.
The training looks exciting; I literally cannot wait to hit the gym.
But then I read the nutrition.
He has increased my caloric intake. My proteins and carbs increased from where they are currently.
Basically I’ve been eating and training for maintenance. The last 5 months, I’ve maintained. And for a while that was great. But recently it’s been irritating. Muscle weighs more than fat, so why has the scale not even moved UP??
I’ve been so stuck physically, and it’s getting on my nerves because I know where I want to be and the progress just isn’t happening.
So here in my email, are his tools to get me where I want to be. And I’m scared.
I’m talking myself out of it.
What’s so wrong with where I am now?
So what if I can never squat any heavier?



But that’s not what I want deep down.
All this fear of the whatever is keeping me from just jumping right in and using all this help.
You have all probably seen those motivational signs “life begins at the end of your comfort zone”.
I’ve probably walked past fifty different styles of that phrase at Hobby Lobby alone.

But it’s so true.

When we stay so comfortable and unwilling to do the “whatever” are we really reaching our truest goals?
Because I’m not.
So here is my first of many posts as I embark on this 12-week program. I’m so excited for the change and all the help I’m getting to work toward my goal.
I’m excited to see the physical changes along with the mentality changes as well J







sometimes you want to quit.

Wednesday, April 27, 2016
wow guys. wow.



Literally it’s been so long since I’ve posted. Again I just hit a spell where I felt like I really had nothing to say. More honestly, I think in the times that I don’t know what to blog are the times when I’ve really been hitting some walls. Like really awful walls.



So let me summarize.
I can hands-down say that a huge part of my recovery has been through weight training. Focusing on heath. Wellness. Strength. And learning what to give my body in order to get that. Has helped me come farther than I thought I could. 

--DISCLAMER.
--This journey to recovery is not the be all, end all. I am not a doctor. I don’t think exercise is the best way to recover for everyone. I can’t say that it is the healthiest way to recover. It just worked for me. I didn’t do it alone. Always had support. Always knew what to feed my body. Do not start a fitness regimen without consulting a doctor. Please.

So. 
Back to fitness.



I felt it was the best way to recover  partly because I had talked myself into thinking that it was a way I could get healthy, make my parents happy, and still get the best “body” or version of my physical self. That’s why I started researching body building anyway. 
Now, this was back in like July. 
SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED SINCE JULY.

But even more so, a lot has happened within this last month.

bottom is January, top is March

Up until about April I felt so great. 
I thought I was doing all the right things, lifting all the weights, making “gains”. 
But my body was starting to plateau. 
I felt like I was doing everything I was supposed to, but I wasn’t looking as lean, or putting on muscle like I thought. So I decided to find a coach.

Side bar, it’s been a phenomenal experience. Helping me reach my goals, get to where I need to be in the healthiest way possible. I'm super excited about my training. 
But up until I found my coach and got started on my program, I thought I was doing everything right. 

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Do you ever do that? You think you’re doing everything right. Then suddenly find out that you had veered WAY off the path. Yea. That was me.
Before I wanted to body build,  I researched. 
A lot. 
I looked into how much muscle to gain and what was ideal for every month of my training. So I planned out meals, routines, and just went for it. Forgoing numbers and just doing what felt right. So when I hopped on my scale to send all my stats to my coach, I felt so proud. 
And then the number shows up.

12 pounds up. In TWO MONTHS????
What?

I literally didn’t know how to handle that. 
In the physical sense, I’m healthy. Good weight. BMI. My body is functioning, as it should be. But I felt like an enigma. 
That increase must be some kind of record. 
I tried to let it go. To move on with the morning. But by the end of that night, it festered so much in my mind that I exploded. 
Anxiety and panic over took my entire self. I haven’t weighed this much in YEARS. Years. But it’s not normal to not weigh that much. So the next morning, I just had to put on my big girl pants and move on.



As I got ready to start my training. I went over my meals, which I hadn’t done in months. I found where I went wrong. 
Unknowingly. I was eating 1000 calories more than I thought I was.  And to the outside person, who knows my struggle, looking in, probably thinks-well hey! That’s good. You needed to gain weight.

But honestly I’ve felt like I sabotaged all my fitness plans ever since that day. And that was back in like March. I haven’t been able to shake that.

I’ve been able to take it day by day. I love my training program, and my coach. And now that I’m on the right track, right diet, I feel better. But it’s seriously still looming over my head. And it all came crashing in again last night.

I caught a glimpse of a picture of myself from over the weekend. And I hated it. I hated everything about it. And all those feelings of everything I could have done better, should have known better crept in.

Honestly. Like real honesty time. I wanted to quit. 

Out loud I said to myself, to Jake, I would rather be deathly skinny than look the way I do right now. I never wanted to be here. I planned out everything. I should not have wound up where I am physically. I was done.

Disappointed in my weight gain. I just wanted to quit.
ED is right there. And honestly, I can have it back whenever I want.

But fitness is about so much more than just being shredded.
It’s about strength, and finding that strength, even outside the gym, to just keep pushing through. Even when it’s easier to quit. To just not “trust the process” anymore. And right now, I honestly don’t. But that doesn’t mean I can go back to where I came from. You've just got to keep going. When it’s uncomfortable, there are tears, you just want to go back to what’s comfortable and easy, but you wake up the next morning and eat your breakfast anyway.



And that’s where I am right now. I’m really having a hard time with self love and accepting my body for where it is now. But you’ve just got to keep trying. Keep working. And that’s my next goal for the blog.

I want to bring you along on my 12 week program. Share my progress. My highs, lows and all the middle stuff. That is my next plan!
I'm already on my second week and I feel great. I'm trying to let go of what's happened, and look ahead. 
More honesty, I'm glad my "planned out recovery" didn't go as planned. Because God has something SO much bigger in his eyes planned out. And if hitting the point I hit last night can help me understand or help just one person. I'm happy. 

Also, feel free to find me on Instagram. I want to promote vulnerability and I try to be as open as I can, and another outlet that has been mostly private for me is my Instagram. I’ve documented my shift from recovery to fitness on my second account. Look me up @a.bosslife

In other news, I want to vlog. Maybe that will be easier than some of these novel posts. But what do you think??

Comment, text, email, find me on IG. Let me know!
Love you all so much 













yes. i moved to michigan

Wednesday, March 23, 2016
I never thought I would be on the other side of this disorder.


I honestly thought I would be one of those people that just dealt with it for the rest of my life. Or at least be really in the thick of things for a long time.

Back in the summer. 
But it’s crazy because things are so different. And I never thought it could be.

It’s so weird. I literally could not see the problem. 
Like. What??

I’ve said before, I know there is so much more to go. And that my life can be even fuller then it is now. But these last few weeks, I’ve been able to really appreciate where my life is at the present moment.

When Jake and I first moved to Michigan, people would ask if it was good? Were things better now? And initially I just answered “yes”. But I don't know if I really meant it.  I was happy to be home, I loved growing up in Michigan, but I think I just gave people an answer.

Now, for the first time, I’m able to see how much this move has really impacted me. 
Don’t get me wrong. I loved living in Downers Grove. 
It was close to friends. Close to my church. Everything was just two minutes down the road. 
Trader Joe’s to Nordstrom to Starbucks, I didn’t have to think about it, we could just get in the car and go. Bored? Lets’ just call someone and hang out.



What I noticed now is that my eating disorder could hide in Downers Grove. Smile. Be busy. Don't think about it. 

There was so much to fill my time with. I never needed to work through things because there was always a way to avoid it. I could avoid meal times. I could avoid the feelings. I could just go with the flow of being busy and pay no attention to ED. Things occupied my time. Work, friends, church, they would come and go and ED could hide, keeping me stuck. I had no appreciation for the things I was a part of because they were always there. Just a phone call, or walk away all these things were right there. 

I literally thought there was nothing wrong. 

For a while, I never felt like I had anything to give up. To change. 

But so much is different now. 
ED can't hide anymore. 


Yea, I live in a small town now. 



But it’s so good. 
Yes. It has its restraints. 
If I want to be somewhere, it isn’t at my beck and call. My friends aren’t close anymore. But ED has been fully exposed. 

I’ve had time to focus on it. Work through my thoughts. And honestly my life has never been more full. Like the difference is insane.





I went back recently to visit my old small group of girls and spend time with them and the other leaders I worked with while I was in Illinois. We had a great time! Sleepover, snacks and a lot of pictures later I was on my way home.

On my drive back, I was beyond happy. Happy that I was finally able to be fully present with those girls, just enjoying life and time together with each other. ED had always held me back from that, but this time was so different.

That’s not the only thing that’s changed. I’m able to be a better wife now.
Joining Jake for coffee, sharing donut holes at Tim Horton’s, eating meals together, spending real time with each other. My life is so much more authentic and full now then it ever has been before. 



I’m so thankful I’m learning how to cope with mental illness, and be real, and be myself.
Alicia.

Able to have fun and eat dessert before dinner when I’m spending the day with my cousins. Able to share meals with my family.
Able to be the role model I always wanted to be.

Able to be more full of love than fear.

st. patricks day

Tuesday, March 15, 2016
I don't know about you, but I love any reason to do anything seasonal.

Normally I never really do too much for St. Patrick's Day, it's such a quick holiday on the calendar and I'm not into being pinched.

But this year, I decided to do just a little something.

Mostly I just love an excuse to try new recipes.

So, here is something QUICK, SIMPLE and DELICIOUS!!!

I give you,
St. Patrick's Lucky Cereal Cake.






I found the recipe while visiting my cousins the other weekend. Inspired by the original layout we followed, I decided to take my own spin on it. By that I mean, I just used different cereal and decided it was festive!

step one. 
--melt 4 tablespoons of butter.

step two. 
--add 4 cups of mini marshmallows, mix until melted. 

step three. 
--at your own liberty, add or don't add food coloring.

video

step four. 
--add six cups of your most favorite cereal. 

mmmm yes. 


step five. 
--in a greased round cake pan, add half the crispy mixture. do the same for the other half. 

step six.
--once cooled, remove cereal cake from cake pans. frost top of the first cake (liberally). stack second on top. if there is more frosting, top the second layer (or lick the spoon). add sprinkles, chocolate chips, more cereal, or whatever you'd like!! 

It's SO simple. 
Quick, easy, and so cute!!



--Comment below!! Let me know what you're favorite St. Patrick's Day tradition is. Do you wear green, or just get pinched?

Have a magically delicious afternoon friends :) 




the dark one

Tuesday, March 8, 2016
Life has been SO good lately. My puppy is growing up fast. The weather (for the week at least) is getting warmer. Jake and I have settled into our apartment more and more everyday. My life is just starting to find its rhythm.





But I’ve noticed that it’s easy for life to be simple in my comfort zone.

The other day Jake and I were watching my favorite show Once Upon A Time.
As a Disney child, I’m completely Hooked ;)


Pun intended.

So, mid binge watch of season 5a, I started to have a crazy connection with the show and my own personal life.

Quick plot—
--Emma (our hero) is filled with darkness and eventually gives herself over to becoming the “Dark One”. As she begins this new chapter of story, the previous man to bear the title (Rumplestiltskin) guides her along this journey into darkness. 


It’s this huge mental struggle as Emma (her true self) wrestles with Rumplestiltskin as she’s faced with decisions that can either lead her deeper into the darkness or keep her true to who she is. 
As he appears to her, it’s only in her head. 

Her friends and family know she’s wrestling, but they can’t see or hear who he is or what he’s saying to her. And the more she focuses on her struggle and on him, the more he’s there. Day in and day out he’s speaking to her, feeding her mind with riddles, and thoughts that she can’t shake. Pushing her further and further toward acting on the pull toward the darkness.


And even though it’s super fictional, and totally not real, this concept to me wasn’t.

Day in and day out, my own version of Rumplestiltskin is there, constantly reminding me how easy it is just to give in. Maybe it’s only a small step into the darkness, but once you make the first step, the rest get easier and easier. And it feels a lot different than temptation. Because I've been there, to where the darkness took me, and I know what that power feels like to be there. And it's waiting for me every day. Like Rumple, waiting for Emma. 

Now as friends and family come to her aid, it's much easier for Emma to relinquish this hold Rumple has on her. Her love interest draws her out of herself. Realizing her fears, asking that she begin to place her trust in him. As long as she thinks it's up to her to protect her family, up to her to know what is up ahead, she'll never be able to let go of the fear keeping her in the darkness. As Killian continues to stand beside her, she finds Rumple's visits into her head less frequent. 



Which is where I've found myself lately. 
Darkness has a funny way of making you think you hold all the cards, all the power. 
But as Jake and I finished out this half of season 5, even as Emma held all the magic and power of the Dark One, she was never really in control. The plan she had was only a small piece in the entire scheme of where that darkness wanted to take her. 

I thought last summer I was holding all my cards. That I could work my own way out of my disorder. Planning what was next, not letting go of this incessant "need to know". This idea that I could plan out and know what was happening next kept me blind to ED staying so close. This way of thinking only led me deeper down the rabbit hole than I ever wanted to be. It took me somewhere, that I never thought possible. It kept me comfortable because it gave me the illusion that I had the power and the control. But it wasn't real. And as much as I thought I could embrace this, and live a full life, I couldn't. 



I wont ruin the story for you if you're watching the show, but it's a fairytale, so obviously things turn out hopeful and happy in the end for Emma. And I'm happy to say that is where I am now. Emma is lucky enough to live in a world with magic that can suck all the darkness right out of you and put it somewhere else, but today I feel stuck. Rumplestiltskin in my head, reminding me just how things could be if I only gave in. Even a little bit. 

But you just can't. 

There's so much light in the world that it's keeping me out of that darkness. But that light didn't start until I began to let people in. I've noticed the more I lean on those around me, the less Rumple is inside my head, calling me back. 

Which I didn't really notice until this weekend. 
Out of my comfort zone, away from my support system, he was there. Waiting. 

A weekend away from my schedule, my simple rhythm, he reminded me just how easy it would be to give in. 

I'm glad I didn't. 
I'm happy that I have more cards and power in my hand now than I ever did before. 

And it's crazy! How easy it is just to become your own version of a dark one. 

You have to find trust in the future. There is no way that I can know how tomorrow is going to turn out, even if I plan my every move. 

There is so much strength in being open about the darkness, that when the darkness comes back to haunt you, it's easier to keep moving forward. 

This probably sounds SO lame, but I love a good fairytale, so it spoke to me :)

Be on the lookout this next week for an easy St. Patty's day treat that will please everyone!! 





a year ago, a year from now.

Monday, February 8, 2016
I never used to put much weight into setting goals. Because honestly, I don’t think adult me knew how to set “non college oriented goals”.

As I got ready to sit down with my family for the big game, I thought about where I was last year.

It’s crazy to think that a year ago this Super Bowl I was sitting in my parents living room. 
Snowed in from driving home, I sat with family and watched the game, enjoyed commercials, and was forced to really sit down and think about where I was going next.



Obviously I wasn’t driving down I-94 anytime soon.

But what more in terms of what was going to be my next step.
It had roughly been about 7 months since my stay at Linden Oaks hospital, and I had myself all over the map.

Dropped my meal plan, took up tons of cardio, began secluding myself and had worked my way out of being a role model for my middle school girls.



Snow piling up and nowhere to go, my family took that time to really discuss with me the seriousness of the path I was on. Part of me knew it, but there was a bigger darker part that really didn’t want me to understand what was happening. 
Trying to keep both parties at bay, I decided to try at home recovery, on my own, finding my own support and my own help, and if I couldn’t do it, I would return to the hospital.
And that is where we left it after that Super Bowl weekend.

I had no idea where I wanted to be that next week, let alone a year from then. All I knew was that I did NOT want to end up back in the hospital. 

 


I think not having any real sense of direction led me from serious, to an intensely serious situation. 

Sparing you a repeat of details from my ED story, we fast-forward.

A year from now…
SUPER BOWL SUNDAY!

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I had a blast light night watching Super Bowl 50 with my family.
I have certainly come strides from where I was last football game. 
So much looked and felt different from last year.
And it got me thinking...
Where do I want to be a year from now? 



I look up to all these people on Instagram, or people from training websites and their transformation pictures are PHENOMENAL.
Like so inspiring.
I would love that for myself.

And for too long I sat there stuck. 



Doing the same things day in and day out expecting something to change.
People. That is the definition of crazy.
Change won’t just happen.

The shift that started my lifestyle change all began a year ago, sitting in my parent’s living room, really thinking about what I wanted for myself. Maybe I didn't know it well then, but I know it now.

My goals since then have changed and grown with me. 
Now I’m able to set my sights on new things, and some things I didn’t know then that I would want for myself now.
Some times I’m bummed.
I wish the girl that’s here now would have showed up a year ago. Maybe I would have back some of the things I lost.



But then I don't think I would have really appreciated this journey, and where it has brought me today. 

Left: last year Right: this year

I'm thankful for that. 
I don't think I would be where I am today without sitting down and thinking about where I wanted to go. 

So now I’m ready for more!

I want to look back a year from now and see a difference
And that difference starts when I set that goal.
That will change what I do 5 months from now.
2 weeks from now.
Even what I am doing tomorrow.

I’m looking forward to next year’s Super Bowl. That’s all I have to say

P.S. 
Get ready for Paczki's!!!

Share with me!
-What goals do you have for yourself today, next month, next week or even tomorrow??
-Who's partaking in Fat Tuesday?
-Do you have a favorite filling for your Paczki? 

Leave a comment below :)


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