Saying Goodbye.

Thursday, August 27, 2015
Most of those who know me, know that I have a small affinity for coffee. 

So maybe it’s not so small, 
I’m pretty sure coffee is my spirit animal. Nonetheless!

It’s safe to say that it’s a universal truth of myself that I am partial to my caffeinated friend. 
As you could imagine then, 
when I got the call that I was officially a Starbucks barista, I was over the moon. 

Working at Starbucks has literally been my dream job ever since I have lived within walking distance to this little oasis my freshman year of college. 

I couldn’t have asked for a more pleasant work experience as I entered my training and later moved into the regular rhythm of barista/ customer life. My co-workers were amazing, the customers were always great and building drinks brought me more joy than it probably should have! But. It was all so great. I loved every minute of it. Even in the days I didn’t really think I would, I did. 

So as Jake transitioned to Michigan, I began the transfer process to the nearest Starbucks to my hometown. The manager was so friendly, and every barista I met before starting was just as great as my co-workers had been before. 

Anticipation was building inside as the week drew nearer for me to begin at this new location. 

But as excited as I was, there was something causing such hesitation with stepping into this new (but familiar) job. 

We came to Michigan for me to focus. 
Focus on my plan,
my health,

All of these pieces to recovery play such an important role in my life, and they all deserve equal amounts of my attention. Getting into my own rhythm here is something that has been a huge help in establishing proper nutrition and giving me the ability to focus on the areas of my recovery that need my attention. But right now, it’s still rocky in my journey when something throws off this rhythm of routine. It’s a huge area of instability still, so when something hinders my routine, it’s a HUGE temptation to let that derail everything I’m working so hard for. 

And that hesitation in the back of my mind was me not wanting to admit that my dream job would throw off this new routine and potentially everything else I am working so hard to achieve. 

So as it grew closer for me to step back into that green apron, I knew it was time for me to decide what was best for me. 

And what was best, was to take time away from this crazy amazing job that I am so ready to sign back up for. 

To acknowledge that I am blessed with this time to be surrounded by family, a super supportive husband, and this time I’ve been given to work on getting to where I need to be. 

Now, I could see how some would rejoice in the decision to just take a mental hiatus from life and just be a little selfish, but it hasn’t sat well with me. 

At least not until I received comfort in my heart that this truly is where I am suppose to be in my life. 

Not long after my decision to step out of work, Jake received his promotion with his job!! I couldn’t be prouder of this kid!!! 

He’s great. 

And God’s timing is wonderful. 
As much as I would love to be back in my apron building pumpkin spice latte’s, right now I’m affirmed in this choice to focus. 

So that’s where I’m at in a nutshell. Blessed with time. Thank you so much for keeping up with me. And I apologize for the small absence :)

Favorite caffeinated beverage?
What’s the most productive thing you’ve done with unlimited amounts of time?

What else should I feature on my blog?? Any thoughts? 


Wednesday, August 19, 2015

I know I’ve left a life behind, but I’m too relieved to grieve! 

Come on, 
you know you want to finish the song in your head. 
So go on. “Let it go”. 
I’lll give you a minute. . .

Feel better now? Good. Me too!

So I don’t know about you, but I’m a super Disney kid at heart. I can still sit down with the best of them and soak in every action packed, musical minute of a Disney classic and leave with the happiest of hearts. But something I never anticipate happening as I enter into this “20-something”  stage in time, is too still connect with the life lessons of these movies. 

I was listening to Frozen in the car the other day, this verse just smacked me across the face with some truths. 

As I continue into this chapter of my life deemed “recovery” it’s been a process, but not without its struggles. And I’ve gone through plenty of ups to encourage me through, but they’ve been accompanied by times of grief and sorrow. 

Grieving; of a life I’m loosing though there is SO much more to gain. Discomfort; in the change of leaving the familiar. Anxiety; in knowing all the right tools but fighting against myself to persevere. 

But here’s the cool thing that happened while I was in the car. Yes this life is behind. But lets celebrate. So much is before me. I’m too relieved too grieve. 

There is so much ahead of me that will begin to alleviate all the pressure and the stress and the anxiety, and in the car I was SO filled with excitement for that life I couldn’t contain it. 

Shortly after that drive, I was approached by a friend, and after we were able to share a few conversations, discussed with me beginning the 21 Day Fix. 

Now now, I know what you’re thinking. 
Isn’t this for people who want to loose weight??

And yes, primarily that is the goal with the program.

But for me. It’s about gain. 
Yes the obvious weight gain, but there is so much more. 
I’ll gain the knowledge of portion sizing. 
Having a well balanced meal plan. (learning HOW to meal plan)
I’ll gain the freedom from all stress this “information overload” has given me

I’m so excited to start!! 

But in all the good and readiness in my heart. ED is still there. And in these moments of most readiness, I feel like it’s harder to tell my voice apart from ED’s. 

I’ve had the program on my counter for over a week now. And haven’t started. ED is waiting for me to go back before I can move forward. So here I’ve sat. Hesitant to begin, but SO excited at the same time. It’s been a struggle this week having two LOUD voices in my head, one so ready, and one so resistant. 

But it’s done!

Today I jumped in (maybe not head first). 

I started day 1 of my 21 Days towards health. 
And no, it hasn’t been the easiest. 

Even typing now, I have a gigantic stress nest sitting in my stomach. But it’s all for the best. 

So this is how I’ve spent #WellnessWednesday, sitting in the acknowledgment that fighting for health is ok. And I cannot go backward to go forward. As much as ED wants so badly for that to happen. It’s just silly. Alicia want’s to be fit. And that’s exactly what I’m going to do. So much had to change in order for this to be my fullest focus, but more on that later. 

Thanks for catching up with me :) 

Join my conversation!
Favorite Disney Movie?? 
What inspires you on #wellnesswednesday?

Weekend Getaways

Sunday, August 16, 2015
hey there!!

hoping I still remember how to blog because it has literally been forever. my head is still catching up with me from such a whirlwind of a weekend. but I wanted to take time just to reconnect and catch up with where life has taken me this week!

diving right in, I was able to catch up with two of my favorite people on a mini weekend getaway featuring Wicker Park! i was never one to venture off the beaten path when it came to visiting the city, but teaming up with these cousins of mine made for quite an adventure. 

being our excited selves, we get into wicker park before the city is awake. answer to that problem?
stop and take great photos.
on the blog with the best! thelollyproject!

once you’ve exhausted all the poses you can in front of a hot dog, you find your way into the cutest hat store and dabble into all the different styles. 

the day continued and I finally made my first trip into stans donuts!!

once again, we found more murals featuring Toms Roasting Co. to capture our day in the city.

of course, as we left town there we saw so much more we wanted to see and do through the rear view mirrors. so there will be more trips back to come. 
but I’m so glad I got to spend this time with these two girls, from belting in the car to learning blogging basics from thelollyproject I couldn’t have asked for a better way to spend my saturday. Off now to a family reunion! Wishing you all a wonderful weekend. 

what about you? where did this weekend take you? anywhere unexpected?

Simply Sunday

Sunday, August 2, 2015
Hey! It's me again!

It's been too long friends. And for that I apologize. BUT I've been on this mission to enjoy life around me and it's been great. 

However, these past few days have also left me feeling a little lost. Like I haven't had much to say. And I'm never one for talking when I don't have anything to talk about. 

So a little update on life as of late:

I've been so distracted by my next move in recovery, that I haven't had room in my head for any other thoughts. And I understand that my #1 goal is my health and wellness. But it's consuming me. I want so much out of this that I keep just searching and searching for my next step. What can I do next? Where should I set my next goal? What am I having for dinner. OK, now I had dinner, what am I having for breakfast tomorrow?

It just goes on and on and on!!

So, this week my goal is just to be in the moment. Really and truly just take it day by day, maybe even meal by meal. But striving to just set a goal, and then have that be what I work toward. Stopping this cycle of the constant nagging "what's next" in my head. 

I had an amazing reminder of this during the week when I got to celebrate my brother's birthday. 

We were reunited with Cedar Point and it was AMAZING. 

I couldn't have asked for a better day.

Our weather rocked

We conquered rides 

Just enjoyed being kids

And it was awesome. 

We ended our adventure at Buffalo Wild Wings for a post-coaster refuel
It was just a blast. 

Of course ED was still with me, in the back burner of my head. But for the day, it was nice to be reminded what freedom can feel like. What normal could feel like. 

And I'm ready. 

So today, I'm living into the relaxation of Sunday. 
Heading to church and grandma's for lunch. 

Wishing you all a wonderful weekend!

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